Hello. Remember me?
I haven’t been around for a while, well not here anyway, not on my blog, and not on Weight Watchers or to the gym or sticking to any of my good intentions. Nothing new there then.
Well, maybe just a little new. The reasons for my absence are different this time, or at least some of them are. I’ve been having fun! The same old problems are still lurking, stress, procrastination, being overwhelmed by work, life and never seeming to quite get the whole time-management juggling act quite right but there’s also been fun. This is an important development because over the last ten years it’s seemed like there hasn’t been nearly enough of it. Don’t misunderstand, I’m not miserable, I have a lovely man, a (mainly) happy home life, and great friends but we (the man and I) have retreated a bit over the last few years. We’ve settled into a life, (no, let’s be honest – a rut) of work, come home, eat, watch TV go to bed, more often than not hours apart from each other, my old friend insomnia still likes to visit regularly.
We talk about moving every year. Lets go back to a City, or at least near to a City, or at least somewhere that has public transport, a pub we can walk to, life, culture, art, live music, a little chaos and most importantly our friends. My closest friends are a scattered bunch, all over the UK and more recently to other countries so it’s a been a bit of a binge then a drought. When we get together the distance mean we always have to stay over, which is great. We spend weekends together which inevitably, no matter what else is planned, means eating and drinking, usually too much. Then we go for weeks, over the winter it can feel like months, before we socialise with anyone again. The remoteness of our home in relation to friends, transport and venues means we have to plan ahead, over the five years we’ve lived here we’ve missed the simple pleasure of an unplanned catch up, the text/twitter/phone call early evening to see if we fancy a drink, the early evening walk to the pub, the last minute invites. It’s all too easy to get home from work and open a bottle of wine, unwind and kick back and once we do that it’s taxi or nothing because we’re too far from the village to walk, there’s no bus and we can’t drive because we’ve had a drink so we stay in, and drink more.
We talked about moving last year but couldn’t decide where. I lived in London for many years and still miss it a little and it was a thought that played on my mind – go back? The question was go back to what? Most of the friends I had in London have moved away although in a City it’s always easier to meet new people and make new friends just by virtue of the fact that there are more people to get to know. The biggest problem with London was the cost, after a disasterous foray into running a business with two (now ex) friends a few years ago the equity from the sale of my old flat in London was long since gone, eaten up in buying an existing business and then trying, [unsuccessfully] to keep it afloat we’re stuck in the no deposit (but could afford the mortgage) trap of renting until we can work out how to raise a deposit or win the lottery and the rental prices in London are stupid at the moment. The other problem was a small matter of neither of us having jobs in London and although I might have got away with it as my job is field based he would have had to move to London then commute back to Hampshire until he could find a new position and no matter which way round you do that journey the cost is prohibitive.
So we decided to stay. We decided to stay and to give ourselves a kick up the backside and get out and do things, make the most of living in a beautiful rural area and get out at weekends and start enjoying a social life again. It worked. Over the last few months we’ve had a great time, nothing flash, no jetsetting, we’ve visited our friends more, we’ve gone on road trips, walked, taken photographs, even managed to get out of the country together for a week, which is only the second time we’ve done that since we’ve been together, and it’s been great. We’ve both, finally, come back to life and are happier than we’ve been for a long time, hell I even ran (well jogged) the Race For Life – me jogging!
I’ve had a few weeks now of letting loose, a holiday with him, a weekend away without him, a well overdue girlie catch up weekend planned and lots of nice food and nice wine and it’s taken a toll on my weight loss so now it’s time to get back on track but without getting back in a rut.
The hardest challenge is trying to eat healthily and drink less without feeling like I’m missing out and in the past in order to stay in control of my weight I’ve avoided eating out so I’m not tempted by all the indulgent treats on the menu and then stayed in been miserable and drank instead! Somewhere there has to be that elusive Happy Medium.
I’m starting out with a couple of small goals this week to get back into the swing of things. I need to find a balance between enjoying life and changing my lifestyle. I know it’s there somewhere.
So this weeks objectives…
1. No alcohol from Monday to Friday.
2. Go to the gym twice.
That’s it. No mountains to climb just a track to get back on and find my way again.
Catch up soon.